This denouement is so stickily sentimental as to make Bambi blush with embarrassment. He unites with Doris and Little Otto in bliss. Wallingford's hallucination becomes reality. The ending is all smiles and simple happiness. The only character who is even interesting is a walk-on (make that lie-down) makeup girl who is condescendingly presented as a caricature of every woman ever to come out of Queens.Īs to Wallingford, he is - as portrayed by Irving - shallow, one-dimensional, as superficial as a typical local television newscast. There is not a nice person in the lot, not a person with redeeming humanity. As the story unfolds, events are dominated by the back-biting conniving insiders who seem to constitute the entire television industry but for Wallingford. (The book's title suggests Wallingford's two original hands, his briefly transplanted one, and a fourth that exists in his and ultimately Doris' imaginations.)Īnyway, one-handed again, Patrick returns to New York, becomes the evening news anchor on his all-news channel. The use of the missing hand as a sexual metaphor is strained beyond the breaking point. The book is replete with elbow-jabbing, winking, finger-pointing devices that cross the threshold into cutesy-poo, a technical critical term that I resort to only in extremis. If it is intended as straight stand-up burlesque, it's inhuman. If it were intended as irony, it is simply sappy.

‘Have a safe trip,’ Wallingford’s neighbour told him.This is not Irving being ironic. It was some kind of miniature schnauzer with a silver-gray beard, like its master’s. The dog, with grave solemnity, seemed to be considering all this. ‘Ya know whatcha do with a prick as small as yours, Vito?’ Wallingford and his neighbour just stared at the dog. ‘Why don’tcha get a fuckin’ magnifyin’ glass so ya can beat off? Angie was screaming. The man, who had a silver-gray goatee, looked dazed with general indifference and self-loathing. ‘I’m going to Wisconsin,’ Patrick said hopefully. Even the dog looked sleepless as it waited, shivering slightly, at the top of the stairs. Wallingford’s nearest neighbour was on the landing – a sleepless-looking man from the adjacent apartment, getting ready to walk his dog. ‘That’s the sound your prick would make in the blenda, Vito – no sound, ‘cause ya got nothin’ there!’ ‘Listen up, limp dick.’ Patrick paused on the landing by the stairs there was a brief but pointed silence. Wallingford was closing the door as she was picking up the phone. Go on – don’t miss your plane!’ Angie told him. There was a mechanical whirring, a terrifying sound. He heard Vito’s voice on the answering machine. What was wrong with sexual anarchy, anyway?

Access a growing selection of included Audible Originals, audiobooks and podcasts. ‘Thank you, Angie.’ He kissed her goodbye. The Fourth Hand A Novel By: John Irving Narrated by: Jason Culp Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins 3.7 (422 ratings) Try for 0.00 Pick 1 title (2 titles for Prime members) from our collection of bestsellers and new releases.

The Fourth Hand by John Irving